'Tis the Season

The month of November is crazy for us.  It just happens to be hunting season AND wrestling season.  I'm a hunting widow and a coach's widow.  The combo of these two events plus planning for the upcoming holiday season leaves me a bit paralyzed with not knowing what to tackle first.  I still have all the maintenance duties of running a house (which I prefer to be clean), corralling four kids to events, feeding them with new recipes to incorporate Ahren's diet, scheduling homework/play dates and...I'm doing it alone this time of year.  The things I want to do include knitting and catching up on my Bible Study. There is no time for these things being a 'single' mom.  Plus with Tim being gone most hours of each day, the children are a bit lost.  There is no time to play catch outside with dad or go for a ride in his green truck or have tickle wars.  They have good ol' mom who is plum worn out for such adventures which require energy and spontaneity.

I have no idea what to get the kids-who-don't-need-anything for Christmas.  I waver between wanting to buy them everything I see and nothing for fear they will be spoiled.  There is a happy middle ground and I have yet to find it.  Tim and I differ on our giving styles and philosophies and after 11 years have yet to find a perfect compromise.

So, tomorrow when I have 2 1/2 hours to myself in the morning with Maria at Parent's Day Out for the first time, I will not know what to do with myself.  I may skip to the van and drive around in silence, or I may go shopping by myself, or I may take a nap!

I realize this post is kind of all about me, but sometimes I just have to get these thoughts out.  If you made it to the end of this post without 1) judging me 2) feeling pity for me or 3) comparing yourself as a mom...thank you.  Thank you for listening  reading and just letting me vent.  I know every mom in America has good days and bad days and today is just a not-so-great day for me.