Why I love my Husband

I've been married for 10 years this past August.  Seems so hard to believe - I'm beginning to feel old.  When I was dating in college (dating in loose terms, because I didn't do it much), I had a list of what I wanted in a husband.  Things on this list included smart, good-looking, musical, strong Christian, funny, and a Pastor.  I wanted to marry a pastor - I thought God wanted me to marry a pastor.  I interviewed a pastor's wife in college for a career paper I had to write.  I imagined myself serving the congregation and participating in women's bible studies, being loved on by other women and in turn loving them while inviting them into my home which was right next door to the church.  Wow.  Even writing this list I'm amazed at how different my life is.

I'm married to a teacher.  He is smart and very good-looking, he's not musical (but loves to sing to himself), he makes me laugh and is a strong Christian.  But, he is NOT a pastor.  He does lead others in his career of teaching and coaching, but he is not preparing sermons or visiting the sick in the hospital or visiting the unchurched in the community and all the other meaningful things that pastors do.  And I have to say - I'm glad!

God knew what He was doing when he created Tim for me.  I'm so glad God's list won against my list. 

Here is why I love him:

He is a great father
He treats me like a queen
He loves to sing to himself
He is the eternal optimist
He works and plays with everything he has, all the time
He is a wonderful motivator
He listens to me
He knows me and still loves me
God created him for ME and I know it

Our marriage is so important and in the midst of raising four ankle biters, it sometimes gets put on the back burner.  And while we both love those ankle biters like there's no tomorrow, loving them takes everything out of us.  There is little left at 7:30 when all four of them are in bed.  We like to watch TV together, he reads and I knit or we just sit in silence.  There just isn't much left after a long day. 

Wrestling season starts next week and I'm already guarding my heart and getting anxious.  I feel like if I guard my heart and don't connect with Tim I won't miss him while he's gone 12 hours/day and 15 hours on the weekends.  How ridiculous is that - just what Satan would want for my marriage.  Don't connect - don't spend time together - don't pray together - just co-exist...not what God had in mind when he created marriage in the Garden.  Marriage is the one relationship on earth that gives us a glimpse of our Whole God.  His intimacy, His fierce competitiveness, His tenderness, His strong hand of protection, His jealous love, His mighty love, His provision all wrapped up in one relationship.  It takes two though - a man and a woman.  So, I can't withdraw, I can't. 

I love that Tim knows this about me.  I am a homebody and love to be at home, with him and the kids.  Wrestling season doesn't lend itself to being at home with all six of us.  He is gone most of the time.  But, this is where Tim's ministry is. He loves to coach - and he's good at it.  His wrestlers benefit from having him as their coach.  He has several former wrestlers that he keeps in contact with - we go to their weddings, give them baby shower gifts and have them over for dinners.  This is his ministry, my ministry too.

So, while I'm not married to a pastor like I thought I would be, my husband still has a ministry.  I still have a ministry - loving Tim well, caring for his family, supporting his coaching, enabling him to pursue his passion while not withdrawing and making my marriage subject to the evil one.

"May my life be yours, Lord. Everything I am, everything I want to be, everything You know about me.  You created me and know my needs - I trust You to provide and fill me and enable me to live this life and ministry You have blessed me with.  Thank you for Tim and allowing this marriage to reflect You - may it be a pleasing reflection to You.  Amen."